Monday, January 9, 2012

We Are So Over the Cancer Thing or Are We?

Story was diagnosed with Leukemia a year and a half ago.  She received her transplant 14 months ago.  We go to clinic every couple of months now, so cancer isn't something we think about everyday.  Of course, it comes up, but it isn't front and center in our lives anymore.   I have always been a pretty optimistic person and try not to think about the negative or dwell on 'what could happen'.  I can honestly say I don't worry about Story having a relapse, or can I?
Story was running a really high fever on Thursday night/Friday morning.  At first, I just thought she must of picked up a virus, no biggie.  But as the night went on and as it got closer to morning she starting moaning in her sleep.  She was burning up and Tylenol didn't seem to be helping and she sounded exactly like she did the night before she was diagnosed with Leukemia.  It was so scary!  Like I said, if Story gets sick, honestly cancer is not the first thing to pop in my mind, but this night I was scared!  She didn't seem to have any other symptoms, but the fever, so that also scared me.  I was wishing there were other symptoms.  I've got to be honest, I wished for some throwing up or some diarrhea because those are physical signs of sickness.  As far as I know, Leukemia doesn't cause those:-)
Friday morning I called into the clinic and they had me bring her in.  The doctor said she is sure Story had a virus that had been going around.  The doctor was actually just getting over the virus herself.  She said, Story would feel bad, run a fever, start coughing with a sore throat and may even lose her voice.  All of her blood work looked fine, so I left the doctor on Friday feeling good that she just had a "normal" sickness.  That afternoon and evening Story played some, but laid around some too.  She would start to feel bad when it was time for more Tylenol, but overall she felt okay.  Saturday morning she woke up feeling fine.  She had no fever, no cough, no sore throat...nothing!  To most people this would probably be a good thing.  The doctor was wrong- yay she is all better!  But to the cancer mom, this is not the case.  I was freaking out inside!  An unexplained fever is not a good thing, an unexplained fever is a bad thing!  An unexplained fever makes you wonder what is going on on the inside!  I was really wishing she would get sick.  I was hoping the virus would work it's course just like the doctor said.  I called the clinic back today and they assured me that everything was okay.  Her blood work all looked fine, so she was probably getting a virus, but she beat it.  Kids get unexplained fevers all the time, its okay. 
It was eyeopening to me how you think you are over the whole cancer thing, but how it is still hanging out in the back of the mind!

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